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Child Custody

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How to Make the Holiday Visitation Schedule Work for You and Your Children Part 2; Berkeley, Fremont, Santa Clara Divorce Attorneys

As experienced divorce and child custody attorneys in the Bay Area, we see how holiday visitation schedules can become incredibly complicated and often a source of conflict. But we believe that with some effort from both parents, and these helpful tips, the holidays can be much more relaxed and enjoyable.

  • Be Flexible

This goes hand in hand with compromise. If you know you travel to visit the grandparents every other year, plan to have the kids with you during those years. And, if your ex wants to take the kids skiing for a week during Christmas, try to be flexible so that next year you can do something special with them. If you get along with each other, try spending Thanksgiving day together with the kids. This can help show your children that you are working together to do what’s best for them.

  • Your Children Come First

In the end, the holidays are about spending time with family and enjoying your kids. If you don’t get along with your ex, try to discuss visitation schedules outside of the presence of your children, and don’t involve the children in decision making about the holidays. This will help keep everything in perspective so that you can both concentrate on your kids.

If you would like assistance creating a holiday visitation schedule or with your child custody arrangement or a divorce, please contact Howard & Fei, LLP at 510-464-8083.

Part I

How to Make the Holiday Visitation Schedule Work for You and Your Children Part 1; Oakland, Pleasanton, San Jose Divorce Lawyers

The holiday season is fast approaching and can be one of the most stressful times of the year for parents who share custody of their children. Following these tips can help take the pressure off so that you can make the most of the holidays with as few hassles as possible.

  • Plan ahead

Parents who work together to plan the holiday schedule in advance have a much easier time handling the inevitable chaos that comes at this time of year. This means that parents should sit down together sometime during the late summer to discuss which parent will have visitation and when. If you and your children know what to expect a few months in advance, there will be fewer surprises for everyone involved.

  • Compromise

It can’t be said enough that compromise is crucial when it comes to holiday planning. Circumstances are bound to change year after year – sometimes you’re traveling to visit relatives; sometimes the relatives come to you. Traditions may also be different at each parent’s house and holidays may fall on days that are special in another way. You may also want your children with you on a certain holiday every year.

Again, we recommend sitting down together to discuss and agree upon the schedule. Compromise is key! One possible solution is to rotate the schedule each year. For example, in odd years (2011, 2013, etc.) Mom will have the children on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, and New Year’s Day, and Dad will have them on Halloween, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Eve. Then, in even years (2012, 2014, etc.), the schedule will switch and Dad will have the kids on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, and New Year’s Day, and Mom will have the opposite of what she had last year. Or, if one parent celebrates Hanukkah and the other celebrates Christmas, plan to have your children spend each holiday with the parent who celebrates it. 

If you need help with your child custody situation, please call Howard & Fei, LLP at 510.464.8083 for a consultation on your case.